Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?
Chada Azar wrote this article in MTV website:
It is one of the most dreaded questions asked during job interviews—and even during casual outings with friends or family. But why is this question so important, and why do we care so much about having a five-year plan?
In an exclusive interview with MTV's website, clinical psychologist Tatiana Maalouf explains that “from a psychological standpoint, planning is not just about productivity—it's about control. When we create a plan, we reassure ourselves that we can shape what happens next, and that sense of control eases our anxiety.”
She further elaborates, stating, “Planning requires mental space and a sense of stability, and it’s future-focused, whereas survival mode is all about getting through the day. It’s not that people don’t want to plan, but their nervous system is preoccupied with keeping them safe. The act of planning can help calm down anxiety.”
From a neuroscience perspective, Maalouf continues, “When we feel unsafe or under stress, the brain activates the amygdala, our internal alarm system. It shifts us into survival mode, making it hard to think long-term. Planning requires the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and organizing. But when our nervous system is overwhelmed, that part goes offline. So when people struggle to plan ahead, it’s not because they’re unmotivated; it’s because their brain is focused on staying safe, not thinking ahead.”
“When we plan, our nervous system learns that we are ‘safe,’ and safety is the foundation of planning,” she adds.
The Struggles of Planning in Lebanon
Despite its importance, many of us, especially in Lebanon, struggle to stick to our plans. Maalouf points out, “As Lebanese, we find it difficult to commit to long-term plans because we are constantly worried about our safety and the unstable situation we live in. The hardships we face daily are a major reason why many of us can't commit to long-term plans. It’s a trauma response from our nervous system, which has never been allowed to rest. Yet, we constantly push and criticize ourselves for not doing more.”
Social Media and the Pressure to Plan
In recent years, social media has seen an exponential rise in posts about planning—whether it's workout routines, vacation destinations, or life goals. This leads to inevitable comparisons. Our brains automatically ask: Where do I stand in comparison to them? How can I compete? Maalouf explains, “Social media rarely shows the ‘other side’ of planning. It only showcases the good moments. This creates the illusion that everyone else is on track, except for us, which can lead to rushed decisions. We may end up copying others and forcing ourselves into rigid timelines just to keep up and avoid feeling like failures. The pressure to keep up often leads to burnout.”
Adjusting Expectations
To ease the anxiety of planning, Maalouf recommends focusing on short-term goals. “Think in short-term intervals—like six months. Focus on what you can control and be flexible with your plans, especially in a place like Lebanon, where things are unpredictable,” she advises. “We shouldn’t put unnecessary pressure on ourselves or compare our timelines to what we see on social media. What matters most is living according to your values, not just your goals. Planning teaches us to embrace both chaos and growth—it doesn’t require perfect conditions.”
In conclusion, Maalouf emphasizes, “The key to life is balance. Living day by day helps us cope, especially in times of crisis—it keeps us grounded and reduces anxiety. But having some form of planning gives us direction and a bit of hope for the future. What’s important is living each day with intention, guided by our values, even when the path ahead is unclear.”
