Your Rapist Is Probably Fine
Lebanese culture is famously loud, expressive, and full of life. Our voices rise at the dinner table, in taxis, in political debates, and over coffee cups. But when it comes to rape, silence echoes louder than any shout. Despite the horrifying reality of sexual violence, the subject remains largely taboo—a quiet crisis swept under the rug, leaving survivors isolated, unheard, and often blamed.
In an exclusive interview with the MTV website, psychotherapist and certified sexologist Reve Romanos shed light on the issue. “Rape is defined as an act of sexual intercourse carried out against the consent of a person,” she explained. “It is sometimes accompanied by violence or threats, or even manipulation like: ‘You’d do it if you actually love me.’”
Romanos also emphasized the importance of avoiding over-attributing rape to mental illness. “Only two in four rapists are found to have a mental illness,” she noted. “We all go through episodes of anxiety, depression, or other struggles—but that doesn’t turn someone into a rapist. A rapist could have a mental illness, but it's not always the case. Many times, it's a conscious decision to cause harm.”
Rape vs Sexual Harassment
Both rape and sexual harassment violate a person’s autonomy and are rooted in power and control. While rape legally refers to penetration without consent, harassment encompasses a broader range of non-consensual behaviors, from unwanted touching to verbal abuse and threats. Both leave deep emotional scars and should be treated with equal seriousness in society.
Romanos pointed out the alarming cognitive dissonance many rapists experience. “They convince themselves the act was consensual—that the victim actually wanted it too,” she said. “Rapists can appear as ‘good partners’ in public, yet privately ignore or justify the absence of consent. They are not always strangers in dark alleys. They can be boyfriends, husbands, or friends.”
The Silence of a Culture
In Lebanon, rape is rarely discussed openly. Survivors are often discouraged from speaking up, pressured by fear, shame, and cultural expectations. “Women are blamed for their own assault,” Romanos shared. “Society finds ways to downplay the rapist’s actions, especially if he’s a man. The excuses start pouring in: what she was wearing, how late she was out, if she said no clearly enough.”
This deeply entrenched culture of victim-blaming only worsens the trauma. Survivors remain silent, while perpetrators face minimal consequences.
A Call for Change
The conversation around rape in Lebanon needs to be loud—louder than the excuses, louder than the shame, louder than the silence. We must start by listening to survivors, believing them, and holding perpetrators accountable regardless of their social status or relationships.
Mental illness should never be a blanket excuse, and consent should never be a gray area. The justice system must be reformed to deliver real consequences, not just symbolic ones. And most importantly, we must dismantle the cultural norms that protect rapists and punish victims.
Rape is never the victim’s fault. Full stop. It’s time we stop whispering and start shouting that truth, together.
